Sheryl Sandberg’s TED talk is a tour de force of strong message coupled with an elegant delivery. The talk is aimed at women and discusses the role of women in the workplace, but both men and women can profit from studying this compelling speaker.
Sandberg begins with the problem – women make up more than 50 % of the population, but only hold a small percentage of leadership roles in government, non-profit organizations, and the private sector. She makes her case well, supporting it with a few well-chosen stats and one or two great anecdotes.
Moving on to her solution, Sandberg keeps the spine of her talk clear and simple – why don’t more speakers follow this ancient structure, codified by the Ancient Greeks, and used by smart speakers ever since? She offers 3 ideas to help the situation:
1. Sit at the table
2. Make your partner a real partner
3. Don’t leave before you leave
She then explains each one in more depth. “Sit at the table” means that women shouldn’t hold themselves back out of deference or a desire to be liked. As she notes, success and likeability are positively correlated for men, negatively for women. Meaning that women need to get more comfortable with success.
Second, "make your partner a real partner" means getting your mate to contribute equally at home. We’re still a long way from this happy state. As Sandberg says, it’s probably not all due to Sunday afternoon football and laziness….
Finally, Sandberg says, don’t leave before you leave. Don’t start to check out because you’re thinking about taking some time off for a family. Guys don’t. You need to keep pushing your career ahead, so that at the very least when you come back you get a good assignment, not the mommy track.
Sandberg doesn't pull her punches about the attitudes of either men or women. As a stay-at-home Dad myself when my daughter Sarah was young, I can attest that what Sandberg says is true – you feel like a freak. The other mommies don’t talk to you while you’re waiting in line to pick up your kid. Sandberg closes with a plea to women to help push the change forward by changing their thinking, as well as trying to change the thinking of the other 50% of the population.
Sandberg delivers the talk with a quiet poise that helps us understand why she’s running Facebook, more than holding her own in what must be a male-dominated culture. While she uses some unnecessary (but understandable) self-protective gestures at first, she commands the stage with consistent grace and style, moving on her thoughts and planting her feet to finish them. Many a speaker could improve just by watching Sandberg’s choreography.
If I were coaching her, I would work on her voice, getting her to open up and access her passion and strength more deliberately. But she’s already speaking at a very high level, and this TED talk is a pleasure to watch. Take it in for what Sandberg can teach you about speech structure and delivery.
Thank you for sharing this speech. It is a perfect outline for a short persuasive presentation.
Also, I respect you even more now that I know you were a stay-at-home dad for a while. I did it for 6 weeks. Not easy at all.
Hi, Dean —
Thanks for your comments. You’re right — you could take this speech as a perfect model for a persuasive speech.
And you’re right about being a stay-at-home Dad — it really astonished me to discover how much of my feelings of self-worth were tied up in working outside the home. Not to mention all the other challenges.
Excellent speech and thanks for sharing this! I am going to share this with my daughter!
Hi, Kristin —
Thanks for the comment, and thanks for taking it to your daughter!
Sheryl’s content has weight, but her delivery lacks courage and conviction, and her costume says I am very powerful and I am very sexy – “see my stilettos and my cleavage.” That said her very dry mouth and lack of creative delivery, tells me she hates public speaking, but does it because it is part of the career path and keeps her on top. I’ll share this with my daughter but will discuss the unspoken messages with her as well.
Hi, Lynn —
Thanks for your interesting comments. The negative judgment fascinates me. Why shouldn’t Sheryl Sandberg dress in a way that is “powerful and sexy”? I also don’t see the lack of courage and conviction. Where does that show up for you? I do see a little nervousness, especially at the beginning, but that is surely to be expected; virtually all public speakers experience it.
She made a subtle but perhaps important mistake. She says, “I gave this talk at xxx”. That breaks the illusion that she is speaking directly to the members of the audience. It doesn’t matter that she couldn’t be giving the same talk or she wouldn’t be talking about talking there. Better would have been to say, “I was taling about this subject at xxx”.
Hi, Pat —
Great point. Always treat each audience like your first love! She also did some things to indicate that she was speaking particularly to the TED women audience; they helped mitigate the mistake you point out.