Let’s look at the elevator speech contest entries as they come in.  I’m thrilled by the response – keep the ideas coming!  We’ll let the contest run a couple of weeks and then pick 3 winners. 

I’m receiving two kinds of elevator speeches – some that follow the rules and are in fact (very) focused versions of possible talks, and some that are elevator pitches, or very brief descriptions of the business you’re in.  I’m going to make an executive decision and look at both kinds on their merits. 

Here’s the first entry, and it looks like an elevator pitch:

I teach small business owners and entrepeneurs how to keep their pipeline full by doing what your mother taught you not to do, talk to strangers and master the "f" word, follow-up. If you know anyone who wants to be two minutes and two people away from their next referral, customer, or client, have them get a free copy of Rhonda's Rules at www.twominutenetworker.com. I am Rhonda Sher, the two minute networker.

What catches the attention here is all in the second line:  “what your mother taught you not to do, talk to strangers and master the ‘f’ word, follow-up.”  That’s fun, and memorable.  Can it be improved upon? 

Well, if that’s the memorable part, let’s get it up front.  Let’s also try to simplify the syntax a little and make the message a little easier to digest.

Do what your mother taught you not to:  talk to strangers and master the ‘f’ word – follow up – to get your next referral, customer, or client in two minutes.  Entrepreneurs, get a free copy of Rhonda’s Rules at www.twominutenetworker.com, from Rhonda Sher, the two-minute networker. 

There you go, Rhonda.  Thanks for playing, and thanks for the great elevator pitch.  Please weigh in, everyone, with your comments and ideas.  And vote for the best elevator pitch/speech.