Here’s a pop quiz: which is stronger, to say, "I love you" or "I really, really love you"? If you answered the latter, you need to reflect on what words can and cannot do.
As soon as you start qualifying words, you limit their power. To say, "I actually did do that," is weaker than saying "I did that." The first sentence carries a variety of potential meanings beyond the simple statement of completion. The speaker might have stalled for a long time and finally gotten around to doing whatever it was. Or the speaker might mean, "despite what you think…." Either way, the phrasing implies some disbelief, or some time when it was not true, or the like.
These qualifying words show up in public speaking all the time. "Actually," "really," "truly," and "rather," not to mention "like" and "you know," are empty qualifying words that weaken the speaker’s authority and, over an entire speech, erode the audience’s impression of the credibility of the speaker. They are the equivalent of "ah" and "um" in one’s vocabulary, and just about as useful.
These kind of verbal tics are hard to eliminate from your speech, but you can do it. Tape yourself, and listen to the tape. Then get a friend to listen as you talk, counting the "empty" words and fining you an agreed-upon amount for every word you use. Start with twenty-five cents, or you’ll rapidly run into heavy costs.
But money talks, and it will work. Soon you’ll be strong and clear and, you know, eloquent, without the need of verbal crutches to help you along.
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