Every communication is two conversations, and I find it ironic that speakers spend a great deal of time thinking about their content – the first conversation – and hardly any time at all thinking about their body language – the second conversation.  And yet the communications research has shown for a long time that if the two conversations are not aligned, people believe the second conversation every time.

Another way to put this is that the second conversation trumps the first when the two are not consistent.  That suggests that it is incumbent upon the speaker to make sure that the two conversations are aligned, or suffer the consequences. 

Take a simple example.  A CEO is giving a speech to employees about alarming trends in the marketplace.  He arrives at the end of his prepared remarks, and then says to the audience, ‘I’d be pleased to take any questions you have.’  At the moment he says these words, he steps back a pace and folds his arms.

There are no questions. 

What’s happened?  The audience has unconsciously read the CEO’s body language instead of believing the words, and correctly determined that he was hoping there would be no questions.

Too obvious, you say?  I’ve seen this precise scenario at least half a dozen times.  And I’ve seen all the hard work of a reassuring speech undone by unconvincing Q 'n A.  All because of body language. 

You need to put the same effort into choreographing your body language as you do preparing your content.  If you’re not doing that, you’re only an amateur.  You might be a lucky amateur, but you’re taking your chances on hitting an inside straight every time.