Somewhere between Enron and Governor Blagojevich, people decided they’d had enough of giant companies that betray their customers, the public and their employees, and public figures who betray their trust. That’s why we’d rather watch a guy dancing a silly dance in various locales around the world than buy a new car from a company that may not be in business six months from now – even if we really need a new car.
That’s authenticity. It’s what we crave now.
It’s what we need now. We have to be able to trust people, because we can’t take the time or money to hire private investigators to see if everyone we meet is telling the truth.
Fortunately, we’re very good at getting an unconscious read on people quickly, the ones we meet face to face and talk to. We’re not very good at consciously trying to read other people’s body language, but we are good at the unconscious work. And we should trust it. Our unconscious expertise has been honed over a million years of evolution and survival. Our instincts have served the species well so far. There’s every reason to trust them, with a couple of caveats.
The caveats have to do with the contrast between what we evolved to be able to do and what we do now. Civilization has changed the nature of the games we play very quickly, and we haven’t evolved to read the implicit threat in a business competitor’s eyes, say, as well as we could read the threat in the eyes of the caveperson coming at us with a club.
The threats and opportunities are subtler, and we have to train our unconscious expertise accordingly.
The good news is that you can invoke your instincts simply by asking yourself questions like, ‘Does that person sitting across the table from me mean to be friend or foe?’ And then wait for a gut feeling for the answer. Don’t try to intellectualize it too much, because that will interfere with your unconscious expertise. Let your unconscious go to work.
I talk much more about these ideas in Trust Me: Four Steps to Authentic Communication, (http://www.amazon.com/Trust-Me-Steps-Authenticity-Charisma/dp/0470404353/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1229113611&sr=1-1) just out from Jossey-Bass.
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