We are all unconscious experts in reading other people’s intent.  We do that by evaluating their gestures in a part of the brain that never reaches the level of conscious thought.  That has profound implications for public speaking and communications in general.

First of all, our ‘read’ is incredibly fast.  The nanosecond someone walks toward us, we have already evaluated him or her in terms of threat.  Our unconscious brains are constantly asking, ‘is this person friend or foe?’ and if the answer is ‘friend’, we relax and greet the person.  If the answer is ‘foe’, adrenaline courses through our system, we tense up, we breathe shallowly, prepared for fight (or flight) and so on.  All of that happens before we’ve even had a conscious thought about the other person.

That means that, for a communication (or a speech) to be successful, you must prepare beforehand so that the encounter can go well.  If you just walk up on stage, full of your own nervousness and agenda, before you even get to the podium you will have sent, and received, ‘foe’ messages to the audience.  All hope of a successful exchange will have gone before you start. 

In order to overcome your natural nervousness, you have to start a positive train of associations and behaviors going.  You have to begin by intending to be open, or else the opposite will happen before you know it, literally.

So that’s your first job as a speaker, and in communications generally.  Start by being open, before the communication gets underway.  Avoid setting off our ancient survival mechanisms, and work on a positive agenda.  It will mean the difference between failure and a chance of success.

I go into this work in much more detail in my new book, Trust Me:  Four Steps to Authenticity and Charisma, published by Jossey-Bass on January 5, 2009.