In this information-saturated, attention-deprived age, your message has to be sharp and vital to stick in the minds of your listeners – and you have to be even sharper and more vital. Following are 3 ways to increase your personal charisma to attract the attention you want.
1. Increase your ability to be open. At its heart, charisma is emotion. Great actors and celebrities who have charisma reveal real emotion to us – that’s what captures our attention and draws us in. The first step in that kind of revelation is openness. Most of us close ourselves off to others without even realizing it. It’s part of the automatic, unconscious danger signals our bodies send out to strangers and crowds and people in general when we meet them for the first time. That’s a survival skill we’ve evolved from the cave, and it worked well then. But now, we need to be open to audiences rather than braced for flight or fight.
So, rehearse your presentations and speeches as if you were talking to a close friend, a spouse, or a family member with whom you’re completely comfortable. Then practice transferring that openness to your actual presentations. It will be difficult at first, but you will soon learn to have a relaxed, open conversation with your audience, and your charisma will take a giant leap forward. This technique works just as well with meetings, one-on-one conversations, and informal gatherings.
2. Get a clear emotional focus in mind. Most of us, when we’re getting ready to present, or meet with someone important, are thinking about all the things that can go wrong, or we’re stressing out about the technology, or we’re wondering how long it’s going to be until we can get to the bar for a drink. To increase your charisma, instead focus on the underlying emotional attitude you have toward your message. Are you excited? Passionate? Eager to spread the word? Focus on one of those sorts of positive emotions, and you’ll show up with much stronger charisma and clearer focus.
3. Practice physical stillness. Watch our most charismatic speakers, leaders, and celebrities. You’ll notice that they avoid extraneous motion and fidgeting. There’s a stillness at their ‘core’. It’s at once physical and emotional. They’re clear about what they’re projecting, and they’re physically focused on the task at hand. Think in terms of keeping your torso still, upright, and regal, like a king or queen, and you’ll have a rough idea of how you should be holding yourself.
I talk much more about these ideas and techniques in my book, Trust Me: Four Steps to Authenticity and Charisma, but these 3 should get you started.
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