Principle II: Persuasive rhetoric has a clear goal in mind and is usually transparent about it.
When you negotiate, you have a BATNA (the best alternative to a negotiated agreement): the minimum that you’ve decided you must achieve or you walk away. The same should be true in communications.
Is the meeting you’re calling with an important client to do some specific business or just to keep the connection strong? Let the other party know, so that there are no broken hearts along the way. If the agenda hasn’t been set beforehand, get agreement on it in the first few minutes of the meeting before hard feelings set in because of misunderstandings.
The idea is to get straight in your own mind what you want to cover before you communicate. Then be open with your partner or partners.
Of course, there are times when prudence or tact, or both, demands that you be less transparent. In some high-stakes negotiations, it won’t do to let the other side know your BATNA or even some lesser goals of the negotiations. There’s merit in keeping secrets.
Similarly, in delicate communications between friends, lovers, spouses, and others with whom you are in close relationships, there are times when transparency is not kind or helpful. In the long run, though, the absence of transparency is fatal to any close relationship.
What you’ll find, if you do the work of getting clear about your goal for a particular communication before you start, is that your own position will become much stronger, your attention more focused, and your time better spent. In addition, your clarity will help the other party.
Our era – as is frequently noted – is one of instant, rapid-fire, short-attention-span, information-overload communications. That has taken its toll on elegance, logic, and consistency, as we all seem to have the stick-to-it-iveness of goldfish. But there is no reason why we should fail to set simple goals before we communicate. In this era, there is more reason than ever for clarity.
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