How do you tell – in terms of body language – when someone is closing off to you?  Most of the clues are easily spotted as the opposite of openness. 

Once again, start with the face.  There’s a lack of eye contact, and when she does make eye contact, her eyes may be narrowed, and her eyebrows lowered.  Her pupils may be shutting – but don’t endanger yourself or others by peering too closely to be sure. 

Frowning and shaking the head “no” are two unmistakable signs of closing down, but many people are too polite to use such obvious gestures.  And certain cultures avoid the signs of “no”; instead saying, “yes,” while meaning its opposite.  In that case, you want to watch for the position of his head.  If he is moving his head and body away from you, even slightly, that may be a sign that he is closing down. 

I once saw two experienced politicians evade the question that the reporters were asking again and again in different words – did you come to a deal – when the relative positions of their heads to one another every time the question was asked gave the game away.  The two both tipped their heads back slightly away from one another:  there was no deal. 

Similarly, if she is moving her torso away from you, or pointing it away from you, that may be a sign of closing down.  The big sign that someone is “done” – in a variety of ways – is when she has been leaning toward you, and she shifts her whole position to leaning back.  That’s an unequivocal sign that it’s time to move on, whether literally or figuratively. 

His hands will sometimes signal closing down, if they become a barrier – clasped in front of his stomach between the two of you, or crossed.  And watch his feet and legs:  if they move away or are pointed away from you, that may be a sign of closing down. 

How can you signal this behavior yourself?  The easiest way is to subtly move away from the other person in some fashion, either with the head, the torso, or the whole body.  The other behaviors are of course very familiar to us all, and not difficult to employ, from shaking your head to frowning and the rest.  But if you’re aiming to be diplomatic, then go for the subtle rather than the obvious. 

What does closed body language mean?  The question is, does it mean that the conversation is done, and the other person is ready to move on, or does it mean, “No, I don’t want you/your product/your ideas/your entire zeitgeist”?  For the distinction, you must look to context – and your own optimism and ideas for the future.  Does “No” mean “Never” or “Not Now”?  It can be difficult to get a clear answer out of people who are uncomfortable with saying no in general, and of course attitudes may change.  Generally, if the words are saying “Yes,” but the body language is saying “No,” don’t push it.  The brain research shows that our bodies often know our decisions before our conscious minds do – even up to 10 seconds before.  Trust the body language!