What happens when your words and body language don’t match?  Audiences believe the body language every time.  But they don’t consciously take the two apart.  Our minds are constructed to infer intent from our unconscious reading of other people’s body language.  That’s for obvious survival reasons.  In other words, if someone starts walking toward me, it’s important for my survival to be able to decode his intent very quickly, and act on it, in case he appears to mean to do me harm. 

Our unconscious minds are very good at reading the intent of the people who come within our sphere of awareness.  And when they’re talking at us, we unconsciously compare words and body language.  When they’re aligned, we get the communication.  When they’re not aligned, we believe the body language.

Which brings me to Ed Miliband.  He’s the English Labor Party’s current leader, and they’re out of power now (ever since Gordon Brown turned out to be such an unpopular follow-up to Tony Blair).   He’s been licking his wounds for a while, since David Cameron, the Conservative Party leader, took over in a clumsy shared power arrangement.  But now Miliband has delivered a major policy speech all about how a new Labor Party has got it figured out and is ready to change.

That’s a message that should be delivered with optimism and energy.  And that’s what Miliband’s words are presumably trying to convey.  But his body language, specifically his face, is angry and sneering.  He evinces micro-expressions –fleeting sneers and scowls – that are clearly at odds with his message. 

The result?  He got pasted in the press for not being charismatic or convincing.  A wonderful example of what happens when your emotions – and therefore your body language – are at odds with your message.  Miliband would have done his party better service by keeping his mouth shut – or straightening out his emotions before he spoke. 

What was he really feeling?  We have no way of knowing.  He could have been unhappy with anything from David Cameron to his commute to the amount of starch in his shirt collar.  Doesn’t matter.  What matters is that he showed up with inconsistent verbal and non-verbal ‘conversations’.     

It’s a great lesson for all leaders who are preparing to communicate an important message.  Get clear on your emotions as well as your message.  And make sure they’re consistent.  Otherwise, you’ll do a Miliband, and you’ll do yourself and your organization no good.