We were having dinner with friends recently, and one of them took the opportunity to get a little free advice. She had a speech coming up, and she said, “I remember something about pausing being important. I can’t remember the details, so what are three most important ways to think about using pauses?”
You can’t tell friends to research old blog posts and find the one on pauses, so I was happy to tell her the answer over dessert.
And it occurred to me that it was probably time to update my thinking on pauses anyway. I had just been reviewing a tape of a client speech, and what struck me about the tape was that it seemed performed, not conversational. You can’t tell someone caught up in adrenalin to “be conversational!” because they may well believe they are already. It’s just that adrenalin time is faster than normal, and so even though the speaker doesn’t appear to be waiting for the other half of the conversation, he is – just not long enough.
Which leads me to the first most important way to use pauses: build them in to your speaking in order to appear genuinely interested in the audience.
A simple example will make this point clear. Lots of speakers will do something like ask a rhetorical question of the audience, or even ask them how they’re doing, for example, at the beginning of the speech. But after asking the question, they’ll move onto the next point so quickly that the question appears insincere. It’s like the doctor in the examination room asking you how you are and not waiting to hear the answer before moving on to her next question. The question no longer seems genuine.
A conversation is always two-way. So if you want your connection to the audience to appear genuine, to feel like a real conversation, you have to build in pauses so that the audience feels like you’re waiting for them to respond – and you care about the response.
The second most important way to use pauses comes at the very beginning of the speech. If you insist on saying a few “throat clearing” sentences, like Thanks for that great introduction. . . I’m really glad to be here. . . I love everything that the International Belt-Tightening Association puts out. . . ., then pause for three full seconds before you begin the substance of your speech. If you can skip the throat-clearing, do so, and simply look at the audience for those three seconds once you’re on stage and ready to begin.
Those three seconds will allow the audience to focus on you and the message, and will build a little drama into your opening.
The third most important way to use pauses is whenever you make a key point. If it’s a key point, you want to make sure the audience has heard it. The only way to do that is to stop talking and watch the audience’s eyes. Watch your point land. Once you see a reaction in the eyes of the audience, you’ll know that you’ve gotten your point across. You’ve seen it land, and you’ve paused long enough.
The art of the pause is an important one for speakers to develop. These are the three most important ways to begin to use the pause to improve your speaking right away.
Great post, Nick! I always pause in the beginning of my presentation.
1. It proves that I’m a confident speaker
2. It makes the audience curious about my presentation.
Thanks, Jonathan — I think pausing at the beginning does increase your confidence and gives the impression to the audience that you’re in control — and therefore, confident.
Nice post Nick and a belated Happy New Year!
I remember an actor coach friend of mine using that same phrase, “let the words land”. I think it’s part of being connected with your audience and judging how long they need to absorb something important or powerful. But I also agree that you have to be careful not to appear too ‘actory’ like its a theatrical performance. As you say, putting some pauses in there so it becomes a habit helps you retain that natural, authentic, human feel.
Thanks, Andy and happy new year to you. And yes — we want all the virtues of performance with none of the artificiality a “performance” can sometimes convey.
Great post. Experienced speakers realize the “power of a pause” and effectively utilze at the start of their presentation. It quiets the crowd and somehow grabs attention. Like you stated, the hard part is slowing down due to the adrenaline rush.
Thanks Mitch — hence the need to count to three!
What occurred to me when reading this is that when presenting, people / I get very focused on themselves and forget that the reason they’re there is the audience.
Reminding myself to pause and connect seems to be the key to stop focusing on me and my anxiety. There is no anxiety when there’s connection
Thanks, Ali — good way to put it. Pausing allows you to bring the focus back to the audience.
Hi Nick
Love the analogy of a Doctor…happens so often and leaves me with the feeling, “does this guy really care how I feel?”. Sure don’t want to start off a speech leaving that feeling with an audience. Pause……….and connect!
Wishing you a great 2015.
Betty
Hey, Betty — back at you for a fabulous 2015, and here’s hoping you don’t need any doctors at all, but if you do, they pay attention.
Thank you! Especially thank you for recommending that speakers listen to their audience. It’s the missing piece in poor presentations. A presenter must really be much more prepared in order to listen. There’s such a temptation to barrel through the presentation and get it done! It boils down to empathy, ultimately, which is so often the missing link in interactions of all kinds. I love your work!
Thanks, Ruth — I appreciate the comments and the point about empathy.
[…] For more insights on when to make pauses, please head to this link: The Three Most Important Times to Pause in a Presentation […]
Great post Nick… I use a similar concept in my work with teams. I tell people to communicate with “weight.” Most of the time we pass a message as if we’re throwing a nerf ball at someone (it almost floats away). Instead, think of delivering a message as handing someone a 10lb medicine ball. You need to deliver it more slowly and more carefully and a pause is a great way to signal that you’re doing that. Cheers!
Love the analogy! Thanks, Liane for the great insight.