I was inspired by some recent queries from readers and audiences, and by some of those questionnaires that circulate on Facebook to create Twenty Questions to Help You Find Your Voice. People have been asking me, what is a Voice and why do you keep saying I need to find mine? I can talk just fine, thanks very much.
What I mean by Voice is that essence of you, that powerful voice that speaks when you give it your best shot and you pull from deep within yourself to sound strong, clear, and unique.
Most people, when they speak, let maybe 50 % of their real voice out, maybe 75%. Working with speakers, I hear people holding back all the time, from fear, from shyness, from lack of authority, from lack of permission, from a memory of a critical parent, friend, teacher, or even coach.
So what is the voice – the Voice – that only you can speak? The one that would stop traffic, shift the direction of a meeting, change the world? That’s what I want you to find. And so here are Twenty Questions to Help You (Find Your Voice). Please. The world needs your contribution.
- If you could meet one famous person, who would that be?
- What causes you to break into song? Where does it happen? Could you sing in front of an audience?
- What’s your super power?
- If you were at the end of your life, and CNN was covering it, what would the reporter say?
- If you knew you only had one year to live, what would you do with it?
- Find something beautiful – a view, a sunset, a picture, a walk, whatever. Whom do you want to share it with?
- When you think about your favorite place, where do you go? Can you still inhabit that place today or does it only exist deep in memory? If so, how often do you think about it?
- What makes you cry?
- What makes you laugh?
- What news items make you want to share them with someone?
- Who is your favorite family member? When did you last talk to that person? If it has been more than a few days, what would you tell them?
- Which is more important, love or success?
- Which is more important, riches or fame?
- Which is more important to you, a safe place to retreat to, or a mountain to climb?
- If you were great at doing impersonations, who would your first choice (to impersonate) be?
- What’s your favorite movie of all time – and does it have a happy or a sad ending?
- What was the last book you read that transported you? How long ago was that?
- Which do you hate more, open rudeness or passive aggressiveness?
- Picture your best friend, the one you’ve known for the longest that you’re still friends with. What do you like doing best with that person? What do you talk about? Laugh about? Argue about?
- If you knew that you had to give a speech tomorrow, what would you talk about? Would you plan it out, or just wing it?
OK, now you’re ready to start finding your voice. One more thing to get you going. Write (and deliver) a rant and a rave. That is, a 7-minute rant on something you really, really hate, and a 7-minute rave on something you really, really love. If you do that with passion, you’ll find your voice in there.
What are you waiting for?
Nick, I’m not sure you want any more questions but here goes anyway!
The question “If you could phone yourself 15/10/5/? years ago what would you say to yourself?” has provoked powerful responses in my groups.
I work with lots of very scared people around public speaking which is somewhat different to your work. So an important question for them is “What would it be like to take your place in the world without apologising for doing so?”
Thanks for your work as always
John
Thanks, John! Great question, and good for getting at those fears.
Hi Nick:
Love these questions. Very evocative. I’d love to have more information on what to cull or glean from the questions in order to find my voice. Not sure what to do with the questions, though I get that the exercise at the end could put one in touch with their passion.
Like the article. Thank you.
Warmly,
Karen Pierce
Hi, Karen —
Thanks for your comment. And your question is a good one: how to use the results of the questions. The reason I added the two exercises at the end (the rant and rave) is to further push you in the direction of speaking from a strong place within yourself. Don’t give us recycled opinions, watered-down ideas, give us the story that only you can tell. From long experience, I’ve learned that these kind of questions trigger the exploration of your unique story, and then the owning of it — of articulating it and finally saying it out loud to an audience or two.