For my second blog post this week, I’m reaching back into the archives for a piece first published in 2014. I’m concerned in this information-overloaded world that posting twice a week may be too much for my readers. So here’s an experiment — digging into the archives for a post that still seems useful today. Please let me know in the comments if you think this is a good idea, if I should just go to one post a week, or if I should keep doing two new ones each week. Let’s hear from you!
A word on passion. I’ve talked since 2007 about techniques, neuroscience, and rhetorical devices designed to make you the best communicator you can be – the best public speaker you can be. In the end, though, I never forget – and you should never forget – that it comes down to passion. You’ve got to show up and be present in order to reach people through communication, and that takes passion. Otherwise, don’t bother.
What else is passion about? Passion is both authentic and charismatic. We don’t fully trust people until we’ve seen them get emotional — angry, sad, ecstatic — because these moments allow us to take the measure of their values.
What gets them angry, sad, or ecstatic? That’s how we size them up. If we see someone giving a tongue-lashing to a sales clerk because the store is out of an item, we make one kind of judgment about that person. If we see someone else standing up to a bully, we make another kind of judgment.
Sincerity of emotion shows up in nonverbal conversation through, perhaps surprisingly, stillness and openness. While the strong passions — anger, joy, excitement of various kinds — can all be signaled with energetic body movements, sometimes extreme stillness can be just as effective. Think of it like the voice: the point is to establish a baseline and then vary that to exhibit the emotions.
I worked with a speaker who was telling a personal story to a large audience and revealing information that had not been public before. There was a lot of tension on his staff before the big night. We talked about the many ways that he could indicate his passion to that audience, but in the end we settled on simplicity. He stood very still and told his story very quietly. The passion came through.
That said, for most of us, when we want to telegraph passion, we need to do so with raised voice, higher voice, more hand and arm gestures, more body movement in general — all the signs of energy and passion that we are used to recognizing.
But rather than thinking about this as a technical exercise, the better way is to focus on the passion itself. Before you go into an important meeting, begin a high-stakes speech, or have that conversation with your teenager that you’ve been putting off, focus on the way you feel about the topic and the person or people you’re communicating with.
This technique has two benefits. First, it will put you in the moment if you do it well, allowing you to connect the two conversations (content and body language) and appear authentic and charismatic. And second, it will occupy your mind and keep you from getting nervous. If you think only about your nerves, your self-consciousness, and how poorly the scene is certain to go, you will almost certainly telegraph nervousness in your second conversation and undercut your own best efforts. So spend a moment outside the room or before the meeting begins feeling the excitement you have over this concept you’re about to propose, or the passion you feel for the company and where it’s headed, or the love you feel for your teenager who has to understand the importance of a curfew and personal safety.
Being passionate is ultimately about allowing yourself to fully experience the emotion. Inhabit it, revel in it, and soak it up. That way you’ll send a consistent message, not a mixed one, and you’ll come across as an authentic communicator.
If the moment is right, you’ll show up charismatically, because someone who is radiating a strong emotion is fascinating, eye-catching, and lit up in a special way that we call charismatic.
Great actors have something they call the offstage beat that they use just before they go onstage. Mediocre actors just walk on and deliver their first lines. But the great ones are already inhabiting the character offstage before they go on. They figure out where the character just came from and what state of mind she was in, and they play that rather than “an actor coming onstage. ”
The result is a fully believable character, and one you can’t take your eyes from. You need to develop a little of the same magic, and the way to do it is to prepare, just before the communication, not only what you’re going to say but how you feel about it: strongly, fully, and with all your physical being. That, after all, is where passion originates. And that’s how you radiate passion, align the two conversations, and convince audiences large and small of your authenticity.
If you do it with enough conviction, you will be charismatic.
Good morning Nick
I really like the idea of twice a week, the example this week on passion is an excellent case in point. I have and many millions have seen passion in all its forms, good and bad with reference to Judge Kavanaugh and Professor Ford.
You make the point “Being passionate is ultimately about allowing yourself to fully experience the emotion. Inhabit it, revel in it, and soak it up. That way you’ll send a consistent message, not a mixed one, and you’ll come across as an authentic communicator.” This I fully agree with. You then state “If the moment is right” and it is here where I feel the passion, the anger of Judge Kavanaugh got it wrong, this was not the right moment or place to vent or if his rant was right for any moment or place?
Our old friend Aristotle was right about the relationship between Ethos, Pathos and Logos. A speaker needs to play all three sides of this triangle when before an audience. For me Judge Kavanaugh forgot to bring Ethos and Logos and brought way to much Pathos.
I do not wish to bring political bias to play here but to evaluate the communication style presented. It is tragic to see and hear in political discourse today the complete lack of ethos and logos. Passionate communication without them is noise and dangerous noise.
Thank you for bringing past blogs to the present, wise words never grow old.
Kindest regards
John
John, thanks as always for your thoughtful and insightful comments.
Nick,
I have your book and am a regular reader of this blog. Your content is practical and insightful. I am not going away!
I would appreciate one post a week, as I spend too much time scanning different authors’ information in my inbox.
Thank you for your work
Thanks, Deborah — I appreciate the vote very much.
Nick I find your blogs so insightful. I always read them.
However sometimes I leave 2 – 3 week’s worth on my computer so I can check them when I have time. Unfortunately when that happen, often the time seems to evaporate. I don’t get to read them.
So from someone who has way too many emails, I would a appreciate one per week from my favourite blogger. It can be from your vault of wisdom or new thoughts.
Many thanks for your great work.
Halina
Halina, thanks for your comment. Your thoughts tend in the same direction as mine. One of the unintended consequences of the ease of email and virtual communications is that we ended up creating vastly more amounts of it than previous sorts of mail. So now we’re all stressed out trying to keep up with way too much information. And falling behind stresses us out too. So perhaps I should contribute to the solution, not the cause!
I love your blogs and always feel motivated after reading them. I would prefer only 1 a week, just so I can always get to them. On a crazy week, I delete a lot of emails.
Thanks, Diana — I appreciate the feedback very much.
Super useful post thanks Nick – love the posts, love the insights, love putting the techniques into practice!
Two posts a week gets my vote because each post is usually the right balance of ‘bite size’ vs depth of information to allow me to properly digest both during my weekly meal of emails ;)
John, thanks for the perspective and vote. The balance had been tipping the other way, so I’m glad to get your vote to add to my confusion:-) I mean, thoughtful deliberation.
Dr. Morgan,
I appreciate this article! I especially benefitted from your point on preparing just before hand- not just the words but also the emotions that I want to convey. This is so key for me as I am naturally a passionate speaker and naturally convey passion when I speak, but your insight will allow me to be more intentional as to the emotion and the intensity that I express. Thanks so much.
Best,
Margo
http://www.margowodward.com
Thanks for the comment, Margo, and thanks for sharing the link to your work. Best of luck!
Thank you! I appreciate all that you do!
The blogs are great, and I often share them with my networks here Down Under (in New Zealand!) I agree with previous posts, that they’re practical and easy to apply. Once a week is enough for me with so many other things to look at, but I rarely delete … they’re too precious for that!
Cheers
Sandy
Thanks, Sandy — that’s great to hear. The vote is tending your way.
I appreciate your insight especially about the emotional preparedness, that is a tough one for me! I will not lie, I will read what I can, when I can! So the vote on frequency, do what works best for you! (Sorry if that doesn’t help!) Improving this area of my professional life has been a goal of mine for a while. That said, I have been doing my due diligence on researching resources for public speaking and the book I;m reading now is pretty amazing. Public Speaking Super Powers by Carma Spence her website is publicspeakingsuperpowers.com. Her approach is light-hearted and functional. I’m all about collaboration and keeping this goal of mine movin! I want all the resources I can get! Thought I’d share a new one I liked. Thank you again Nick, I appreciate your content greatly!
Sally, thanks for weighing in and thanks for the book reference!