Most of the successful public speakers I know suffer from some form of the imposter syndrome. It’s often not something that they feel comfortable talking about, but it’s there, lurking in the wings as they wait to go onstage. Or it sits with them after the speech in the hotel room as they wait for sleep. Or it comes in right after they’ve accepted a gig for good money, that little voice in their head that says, “how do you possibly think you can do that well?”
It’s a party crasher, a mood killer, a joy snuffer. In its worst forms, it can be paralyzing. And of course it can make your life miserable when you’re actually giving the speech if it shows up, takes you out of the moment, and makes you start questioning yourself midway through your talk.
Where does it come from? The typical sufferer is successful, hard-working, and highly responsible. So in your mind there’s some level of knowledge, or perfection, or standard of achievement that you’re aware of – and you’re also keenly aware of the endless ways in which you might fall short of that perfection. Speeches can always be better, delivery can always be more impassioned, and audience response always more heartfelt.
And so you double down on your craft and work to make it better. But strangely enough, that little voice of “who do you think you are?” doesn’t go away. In fact, from many conversations with speakers over the years, and with my own wrestling with the demon, I’ve come to the realization that no amount of hard work will silence the imposter police. Because no matter how much work you do, you will always be upgrading the standards by which you measure yourself. Public speaking, like many other businesses, is too much of a moving target ever to hold still long enough for you to nail down perfection and stomp on it.
Add to that the increasing pace of change in all things human these days, and the sad truth is that the imposter syndrome is like that mechanical rabbit they put in front of the dogs to keep them running. We’ll never catch it.
So what can we do? Listen to Jeff Bednar and Bryan Stewart. They conducted a study of college students suffering from imposter syndrome to see what, if anything, could be done to help. And what they found, as the Internet likes to say, was surprising.
You would think that working harder to get better would still the Imposter Syndrome Devil, but it doesn’t. Instead, the students who found social validation outside of their fields of study got relief. Because the imposter syndrome is all about being afraid people won’t like us if they find out who we really are (i.e., not as good as we seem to be in our field), then joining a club and making friends outside of the area of concern helps us feel generally more acceptable and less like everything depends on that one area of expertise.
So, speakers – take up a hobby. Join a club. Take on a charity. Join a circle of people who don’t value you (or not) for your public speaking, but rather for your other sterling qualities, or even just because you show up and help out.
Maybe, just maybe, your new circle of friends or activity will broaden your perspective and make that debilitating little voice in your head less audible. Who would have thought that the way to relief was outside of your field of expertise?
And when you’re talking to your fellow speakers, allow yourself to be human. Talk about your mistakes as well as your successes, your imperfections as well as your amazing achievements, and thereby give your colleagues and competitors permission to do the same. It will be a relief to everyone.
Hi Nick
I recently gave a speech on Imposer Syndrome based on the work of Dr. Valerie Young.
Dr. Young, has categorized it into subgroups: the Perfectionist, the Superwoman/man, the Natural Genius, the Soloist, and the Expert. In her book, The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer From the Imposter Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It, Dr. Young builds on decades of research studying fraudulent feelings among high achievers.
1. The Perfectionist
Perfectionism and imposter syndrome often go hand-in-hand. Perfectionists set excessively high goals for themselves, and when they fail to reach a goal, they experience major self-doubt and worry about measuring up. Whether they realize it or not, this group can also be control freaks, feeling like if they want something done right, they have to do it themselves.
2. The Superwoman/man
Since people who experience this phenomenon are convinced they’re phonies amongst real-deal colleagues, they often push themselves to work harder and harder to measure up. But this is just a false cover-up for their insecurities, and the work overload may harm not only their own mental health, but also their relationships with others.
3. The Natural Genius
Young says people with this competence type believe they need to be a natural “genius.” As such, they judge their competence based ease and speed as opposed to their efforts. In other words, if they take a long time to master something, they feel shame.
4. The Soloist
Sufferers who feel as though asking for help reveals their phoniness are what Young calls Soloists. It’s OK to be independent, but not to the extent that you refuse assistance so that you can prove your worth.
5. The Expert
Experts measure their competence based on “what” and “how much” they know or can do. Believing they will never know enough, they fear being exposed as inexperienced or unknowledgeable.
For me, The Expert seemed to fit. All the more so when you read the blog of an expert, the books of an expert and even more so when you meet the expert in person in London and Dublin.
The enemy is procrastination, yes we need to keep learning from the best but we most get on and be our best for those we wish to serve.
Kindest regards
John
John, thanks for this excellent taxonomy of imposter syndrome. I can’t imagine improving on it:-)
That’s a helpful post on an important topic for us, Nick. Thank you.
I talked with a client yesterday who is in her first semester of a PhD program. One of her professors said something like this, “Many of you are going to tell yourselves you don’t belong in this program. If that’s you, I want you to hear this from me: You belong here.”
In a separate one-on-one, the professor reiterated that message, “You belong in this program.” It meant so much to my client that she printed the quote out on a piece of paper and hung in her home office.
If someone is paying to put us on a stage, they did their homework. They think we’re worth it. We belong there.
Thanks again for the insightful post, Nick!
Thanks, Andy — it’s a good reminder that the imposter syndrome is widespread, not just bedeviling speakers, but many others as well.