We’ve all gotten to know video conferencing a whole lot better lately, and for most of us that means spending a good deal of our working days on Zoom (or something like it).  Indeed, I’ve been hearing from many people about a new phenom:  Zoom fatigue.

There have been many well-intended pieces offering newbies help for these video meetings conducted from a makeshift office in your home.  Frankly, many of those articles and Internet lists have made me cross because, while well-intentioned, they are not very helpful. They only deal with the most obvious and simple kinds of issues and answers.  Yes, you should avoid having crying infants, barking dogs, and significant others dressed in pajamas wandering past your screen, if you can.  If you can’t, then just embrace it.  Yes, if you’re meeting from the laundry room, you probably should at least put the dirty laundry somewhere out of sight.  And so on.  Do we really need to be told this sort of thing?

The real issues that you should be paying attention to have to do with proprioception, and the stress response your unconscious mind has to watching people on a video screen who appear to be too close to you, as well as the slight asynchrony between the sound and sight that causes us to think the other person is having a stroke – even if consciously we’re not aware of these things.

How to make the experience better, really?

What follows are a few less obvious helpful rules about making video conferencing better.  Let’s hope we’ll be able to get out of our homes and back to some form of office work in the future, but until then, here are a few thoughts about what actually makes video conferencing a satisfying experience.

  1. Share the load. Online meetings are far more engaging if two people are running it, having a conversation.  We like human interaction, which is why even Shakespeare kept the soliloquies to a minimum and got two people on stage whenever possible.  But avoid the Brady Bunch Screen – too many people interacting at once is just confusing.
  2. Share the experience. It’s no accident that virtual cocktail hours have become a thing.  It seems a little silly, but it’s better to have us all tasting the same wine, or sampling the same chocolate cake, or reading the same book, even if we’re doing it in our own enclaves.  Connecting the virtual and the real in this way makes for a stronger connection.
  3. Share the conversation. If you do nothing else, make the video conferences or sessions interactive.  People passively watching on a computer screen rapidly lose interest.  The typical drop off from a webinar is 90% after 10 minutes.  So make it interactive, even if you have to drag people in and force them to speak at first.
  4. Share other formats. Don’t make it simply a video conference.  Add pictures, add video, add something we can look at or go to via our mobile phones.  Mix it up!  (This strategy will make your life more complicated, but time to man- or woman- or person-up.)
  5. Share the feelings. Video crushes people, who (last time I had human contact and could check) are three-dimensional, into two dimensions.  That means our faces – and the expressions on our faces – are flattened.  If you’ve got great cheekbones, first of all, lucky you.  Second, that helps make your face look good and be expressive in two dimensions.  But for the rest of us, our emotions and reactions are subtly lessened by being on video.  So amp them up.  Tell people how you are feeling.  “Jane, that’s wonderful that you said that.  I’m thrilled that you are able to get that done.”  And so on.  Even though people can see you, don’t assume your attitudes and feelings – your intent – is coming through clearly.

I’m offering 30-minute and 60-minute coaching sessions for anyone who signs up (and pays the modest fee) on how to do teleworking better.  We can get into all the ways you can make the working-from-home experience more productive and pleasant for you and your team – and your clients or customers.  I wrote the book on communicating in the virtual world in 2018, Can You Hear Me?  It has hundreds of suggestions for making the virtual working experience better.  For now, start with these five rules to make your video conferencing and calls better experiences.  And let’s hope we can back to whatever passes for the new normal soon!