I’ve written a number of times about the power of the pause in public speaking – pausing before you start in order to build suspense, pausing at key moments to let your point land, pausing to control the pace of your talk. Pausing also shows respect to your listeners by indicating that you care what their responses might be when you ask them a question. All of these (and a few others) are good moments to pause. But recent research has revealed that there is one time when pausing doesn’t work so well, and in fact can undercut the impression you are trying to make as a sincere, trustworthy speaker.
What is this exception that proves the rule?
It turns out that pausing for a long time after you’ve been asked a question makes you seem less sincere and trustworthy than if you answer immediately. Exceptions to that include answering a question that takes a lot of mental effort and talking about socially undesirable things. Presumably, then, it’s OK to pause while you recall all the reasons why you’ve done time, or something like that.
The lessons for public speakers are relatively simple. If you’re asked a question, and it stumps you, start talking right away, paraphrase the question back, ask for clarification — say anything, even if it means uttering a few filler words to buy yourself time. It’s the one occasion when weasel words are OK! You should of course develop a few ready answers for the most commonly asked questions – the ones that come up all the time. Any regular speaker will be familiar with at least 75% of the questions that come up during every Q and A session. There are always going to be some questions you don’t see coming, but be prepared to enjoy those, have a couple of filler phrases ready to hand, and trust in your expertise to come up with an answer in due course.
Now, we have to set against this one negative instance of pausing the overwhelmingly positive reason to build them in to your speaking: to appear genuinely interested in the audience. Interest leads to connection, and without a strong connection with your audience, little good can happen.
For example, lots of speakers will do something like ask a rhetorical question of the audience, or even ask them how they’re doing, at the beginning of the speech. But after asking the question, they’ll move onto the next point so quickly that the question appears insincere. It’s like the doctor in the examination room asking you how you are and not waiting to hear the answer before moving on to her next question. The question no longer seems genuine.
A conversation is always two-way. Thus, if you want your connection to the audience to appear genuine, to feel like a real conversation, you have to build in pauses so that the audience feels like you’re prepared to give them all the time in the world – and you care about the response.
What’s the consistent thread between pausing for the audience to respond and not pausing when the audience is waiting for you in response to one of their questions? Think of a speech as something that happens on the audience’s time. It’s their mental space, for the reception of the speech, that matters. As a speaker, you are on a clock – and it’s the audience’s. When they’re talking, listen and be ready to respond. When you are talking, give them plenty of time to take in what you’re saying and be clear that they are in charge. Any communication has a sender, a receiver, a message, feedback, and noise according to the traditional model. The most important part of that system is the receiver, because if the receiver doesn’t get the message, the communication hasn’t happened.
In the public speaking world, the speaker may own the stage, but the audience owns the time.
“In the public speaking world, the speaker may own the stage, but the audience owns the time”.
Very well said. Public speakers who take care of this aspect are very successful. Short pauses are often used by hit-speakers, already well-known. They use it for effect, knowing pretty well that the audience is mostly won over by their past record of successful speaking. But if a first-timer takes a pause, and keeps the audience waiting, it may earn him the wrath of the audience.
Besides, it is the tone of the speaker’s statement which matter. A point made well with the right kind of emotion and tone helps the speaker to retain the interest of the majority of the audience. Looking at the specific members of the audience is also a basis for a successful talk, if those members are attentive and look back at the speaker re-assuringly.
Thanks, Jatinder — I like your comment particularly about looking at specific members of the audience. That is indeed the key to handling eye contact successfully.