Public Words has been running an empathy quiz for the past 2 years, and we now have 2,000 responses.  So it’s time to check in with the numbers and see what kind of empathy scores we’ve been getting as a human race, or at least the part of it that responds to questionnaires.

And, naturally enough, the answers may surprise you.

First, the good news.  We’re at our most empathetic when we are worrying about how someone else in our social circle is doing.  We notice when we’re intruding, we notice when someone else in the group is feeling awkward or uncomfortable, and most of all, we pay close attention to whether or not we are boring someone else and can easily tell when we’re not going over well.

We care almost as much about friendships and relationships overall, and – perhaps best news of all — we pretty easily can appreciate someone else’s point of view, even if we don’t agree.  Maybe all that tribal talk is a bit overdone?  Maybe we’re more understanding than the news media seems to think?  Or perhaps the truth is a bit more nuanced:  there are more areas where we are a bit flexible in our opinions than recent political campaigns would have you believe.

Whatever the reality of the political landscape, it is important to remember that there are large areas of belief where we can be more flexible.  Seventy percent of us say that we can put ourselves in someone else’s shoes easily.  Take that, Gallup!

In the areas where we are less enthusiastic, there are a few surprises.  Manners don’t rank as high as they used to.  Less than a third of us think that good manners are the most important thing a parent can teach a child.  And more than half of us rate ourselves as “blunt” when it comes to telling people what we think, even if it comes across as rude.  Welcome to the downside of authenticity.

We think we are pretty good at reading others, even if the data in many studies says otherwise.  Three-quarters of us believe that we can tell if someone is hiding their true emotions, and if a person says one thing and means another.

Good for us.  Fortunately, we balance that with a high degree of sensitivity to others’ feelings and avoid intruding when not wanted.

In short, we are still an empathetic species.  That’s the very good news of the study.  I am left with a few questions, and I would love to have your answers in the comments below this post.

• Do you think the pandemic has made us more or less empathetic?
• Do you think social media has had a good or bad effect on our empathy?
• If you’ve spent a lot of time on Zoom over the past year and a bit, has that made you more or less empathetic, or have you stayed the same?
• And finally, do you think we will be more or less empathetic when we are finally able to get back together face-to-face in groups large and small?

Thanks in advance for responding.  And do keep taking that empathy quiz (click and scroll down), so that we can track changes over time.