Anxiety and stress go with public speaking for all but a lucky few, and readers of this blog will know that I have suggested many ways over the years to reduce the anxiety and stress so that speakers can be fully present on stage.  Now a recent study underscores the importance of recognizing and accepting those emotions rather than trying to deny them. According to the study, if you journal about your anxieties and stress, and accept them, letting them run their course, the result is improved mental health compared to the rest of us who judge ourselves.  The negative moods don’t last as long and are not as powerful.

I like this strategy.  Denying that I was anxious was certainly my standard operating procedure when I was beginning in the business, first as an actor and then as a speaker on speaking, communications, storytelling, and body language.  Denial didn’t help me, of course, just as it has helped no one else, and it wasn’t long before my anxiety was reaching epic proportions and the beginnings of speeches were going by in a blur of adrenaline.  I had to do something, and so began my lifelong pursuit of ways to reduce the pain of public speaking for myself and others.

In these early days, it never occurred to me to look straight into the heart of darkness, the anxious core of public speaking, the self-consciousness that intrudes when we feel exposed standing before a group of people.  Most of my methods involved tricking or distracting my brain long enough to give the speech and get to the bar. For example, getting some moderate exercise before a speech allows some of the nervous energy to dissipate so that you are calmer than you otherwise would be.  Meditating can work, too, for those who have some experience with that form of mental discipline.  My favorite distraction from those days turned out to be having the airline lose my luggage – with my speaking suit in it – so that I had to go shopping at 9:00 before the speech at 10:00.  Good thing I could walk right into a 42 Long.  I was so distracted by the suit crisis that I never got nervous for the speech.

That’s an expensive distraction, however, and I don’t recommend it as a long-term solution.  Also, I started carrying my suit in my carry-on luggage, so the tactic no longer worked in any case.

My father passed away the day before a speech years ago, and I was too distraught to be nervous.  But again, I don’t recommend that as a permanent solution, since our supply of fathers is generally limited to one or two.

Eventually, I focused on three truly helpful strategies.  First, a simple physical exercise that helps control anxiety:  deep, slow breathing.  The key is to breathe out on a longer count than the in-breath.  Second, positive self-talk.  Find your mantra and repeat it ad infinitum.  Whenever you have a dull moment, whenever you are nervous or anxious about an upcoming speech, and whenever you have trouble sleeping.  I’ve used this technique for years now, and I’m pleased to say I’ve just about wiped my mental slate clean of debilitating negative patterns of thinking.  I’ve also witnessed many clients and friends benefitting from this technique.  So, if it sounds New-Agey to you, get over yourself and get to work.  In the long run you’ll thank me.

Finally, the most powerful technique for getting over stage fright is to realize that a speech is not about you, but about the audience.  Put yourself in service to the audience in front of you, get out of your own way, and think about them.  You will be liberated and even find the joy in public speaking, and that is indeed a good place for both audience and speaking to be.

Now we can add journaling to our arsenal of mental weapons designed to keep anxiety and stress at bay.  May we all write our way to the calm after the storm.