Do you, like me, have trouble remembering the names of people that you meet, especially at business functions or social gatherings where you meet a group of people all at once? Yeah, it was the bane of my professional existence until I accepted it and started saying people’s names back to them, explaining that I was bad at names and had to repeat theirs in order to encode them.
Those very nice people (blanket apology to everyone who’s name I repeated and still forgot) have always nodded and smiled and agreed that it was reasonable to say their name out loud. No one has ever seemed to mind; no one has ever said, “I’m good at names, and I’m offended that you are not.”
Now a recent study (Kapnoula et al., 2022) turns all that painful learning and forgetting on end. It turns out that repeating a name immediately actually interferes with the brain’s work encoding it into memory. Instead, the effort goes into, well, saying the name out loud. The brain can do one or the other, but not both. It’s either busy talking, or remembering, but apparently remembering-while-talking is not one of our brain skills.
What does work? Just listening. Don’t say anything, for at least 4 seconds. Does that seem awkward? Four seconds is well within the amount of time it is acceptable to honor a pause between conversational moments. So remember this new memory paradigm: when introduced to someone new, look at them, with a smile on your face, and let 4 seconds go by just taking them in. Don’t say their name back to them!
OK, I feel like I still need help. What other means are there for remembering names (and words in general)?
Use it. The first of the other means for remembering names sounds suspiciously like repeating the name back, but there is a difference. The idea here is to wait a while, then use the name (or word) in a different context or way. I think the key is not to use the name immediately, but after the 4-second rule.
Associate it. Here, you should hook other phrases, thoughts, words, and ideas that you are already familiar with to the new name. So the word association game – picturing a blacksmith when introduced to someone named Smith, for example, is still a good way to go.
Practice it. Practice makes perfect name recall, as in other things involving the brain. No surprise here, but a confirmation that repeated attention to the skill you want to improve is still a good thing. Phew!
What other ways besides these are there to improve one’s name recall? I did manage to scrape up a couple of other research-tested ways to remember things that aren’t as difficult as these it’s-all-about-the-reps practices.
Chew gum. Yeah, I was surprised about this one. But apparently chewing gum helps keep you alert. Moving the jaw around? The flavor hits? The sugar? All of the above? Never mind – as long as it works, right?
Drink more coffee. That coffee is on the list is also good news. So coffee, we now know, chases dementia away, enhances memory, and helps you cope with that morning meeting. Hooray! It also may make you jittery in large quantities, but there you are. Nothing is perfect.
Practice Mindfulness. Again, this one is hardly a surprise, but I’m glad to see it on the list.
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