Audiences long for presenters to be real with them, and just have a conversation.  Sure, they want a focused, smart conversation, not a rambling, pointless one like so many real conversations.  But they want an authentic connection with their speakers, and the way to achieve that is with a conversation. 

That’s hard for speakers to do.  When we’re nervous, we want control.  When we’re full of adrenaline, we want to protect ourselves.  And when we’re confronted with a big crowd, most of us want to hide.  And yet a conversation with an audience requires that you give up control, open yourself up, and let go of self-protection. 

Professor Brene Brown talks brilliantly about the risks of opening up in front of an audience in her TED talk, “the Power of Vulnerability.”  She’s funny, articulate, and moving.  Brown is willing to go deep into her own vulnerabilities in order to offer up some hard-won wisdom about courage, compassion, and connection – for her the secret to a successful life. 

Along the way her example yields some helpful tips on how to have a conversation with your audience.  So do yourself a favor, watch the video, and learn a few things from this great presenter.

Talk more about problems than solutions. 

Speakers want to present themselves and their ideas as whole, complete, and – as Brown notes – a tidily wrapped package.  But audiences want to see the struggle.  They want to know about the problems.  Only once you’ve shown that you’ve been down in the valley too will they be willing to climb up the mountain with you.  As Brown points out, “When you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak.”  That’s where the best stories are to be found. 

Be willing to self-disclose, but don’t make it about you. 

Brown shares plenty about her own struggles as a control freak, and it’s both revealing and funny.  But she never makes the talk solely about her.  She’s always relating what she learns back to society, the rest of us, you and me.  She’s a parent, and she shares what she’s learned in this way: “Children are hard-wired for struggle.  They’re not perfect, but they’re worthy of love and belonging.”

Put your best thinking out there; don’t hold back.

Too often speakers settle for the superficial and avoid the deeper issues because, well, they’re hard.  Brown is willing to give us her best, whether it’s about her own therapy, or the current political climate.  As Brown points out, our political dialogue today has broken down because it’s only about blame.  And yet we can only work toward solutions when people are willing to be vulnerable and admit to the problems we’re all facing.  She says, “This is not our first rodeo, people.  We just need you to be authentic and real….and say, ‘we’re sorry; we’ll fix it’.”

Brown’s talk is top-notch, insightful, witty, and well worth 20 minutes of your time. Watch Brown’s non-verbal communication to see what open, relaxed body language can do to bring in an audience.  Watch the talk to see how to have a wonderful conversation with your listeners.  Watch Brown to learn something priceless about the importance of vulnerability in our lives.    

Many thanks to Liane Davey of Knightsbridge for the link to this great talk.