Are, like, filler or weasel words, you know, on the rise?
What do the following words have in common: basically, really, actually, totally, exactly, very, highly, just, like, you know, uh, um, I mean, like I said, OK, so, well, right?, and stuff, literally? They’re all filler or weasel words – words we interject into our speaking when we’re struggling to find the right word to say.
If we’re not pausing, we’re filling up scary silences, afraid to relinquish the floor or to let the pause linger. Some people learn this habit as children, because if they stop talking they lose the floor at the dinner table, let’s say, and (wanting the attention) it’s good to hang onto the talking stick.
For other people, it’s the simple insecurity in letting the pause linger – having insufficient confidence in what you’ve said in order for you to be strong enough to let it sink in.
These sorts of pauses come at the end of thoughts and phrases, but some filler words are used to begin utterances. One of the most common these days is “So, ….” I hear that all the time. You might think of that as a lazy way of connecting to what’s been said before. If you say, “so,” you make it look like what you’re saying connects to the previous. So that way you come across as a better conversationalist, perhaps. But after the 6th or 7th “so,” the effect is less than delightful. So, use “so” with care.
Talking – making things up on the spot – is a messy business. Most of us have been guilty at one time or another using filler words while we stall and try to think of something to say. We become very adept at actually changing the direction of our sentences from the beginning to the end when we finally figure out what we’re trying to say.
I think Zoom meetings make the abuse of filler words more likely because we are not as strongly connected with the other people in the meeting as we would be face to face, and so we are more likely to use filler words to fill the awkward pauses.
Are filler words all bad? I saw an interesting study that found that ah’s and um’s actually increased comprehension of the word immediately following them, because listeners hearing them pay closer attention to the word that comes after the “um” or “ah,” believing that it is important since more time was taken in the choosing.
If ahs and ums can increase comprehension, they’re not all bad. But no study has defended filler words in the same way. I once worked with an executive who had lost the confidence of the board because she used too many filler words. No one on the board was able to put a finger on what the problem was, but they knew the way the executive spoke didn’t inspire confidence. I heard the problem immediately because I’m tuned in to these things. So, it was a relatively easy fix, actually. It was just a matter of telling the executive never to say “actually” again. She was motivated enough to make it happen.
This kind of work isn’t very glamorous, but it is important at the higher reaches of an organization. If you’re leading a large organization and you represent it in important ways, then you need to be able to talk confidently without the use of filler words. It’s that simple.
Literally.
Finally, if you’re not yet convinced, ask yourself which sentence is stronger: “I love you,” or, “I really love you.” And if you don’t know the answer to that immediately, then I can’t help you.
Really.
To your point about filler words increasing comprehension…
The poet Taylor Mali says if “um” is followed by a pause, it prepares people for a big word!
To me that shows respect. You’re letting the listener in on your thought process: “I’m going to risk using a word that sounds pretentious because it’s the most precise way to convey this idea.”
More reasons to “um”! Thanks, Maureen.
I was always taught “um” was like a bad word in communication, so my confidence may be miroring this insecure affect rather than the ultimatums you all portray with your results. Thank you for this perspective. It makes me aware of my customer service communication as “not as bad” as I think when I suddenly have to improvise my sales pitch. Afterall, we are only humans.
Is it just me? I find using filler words as a sign of a lack of education and extremely annoying? Like, um, ya know what I mean.
Yep, many people share your opinion.
This caught my skimming eyes because I’m not sure how to present the same thoughts to people around me that need to hear it. Good points of communication for many, particularly those challenged with thought clarity. I’ll be passing this on with some gentle suggestions to a few people in my life. Thanks for the read.
Thanks, Kevin! I hope it helps….
Thanks Nick Mode this interesting article. My wife pointed out how I use the uhh etc and decided to replace them with pauses when needed. I think it worked very well before I went back to my old habits. Your article reminded me about it and will also help in improving my approach.
Cheers
VJ
Thanks, VJ — glad to hear your wife is keeping you up to snuff:-)
Please, throw “absolutely” and “unbelievably” out as well.
On the list! Awesome, Chip!
This has long been a topic that I have instructed when teaching the art of speaking. You hit the nail on the head. Filler words happen, but are better left out. Here is some context to other things you can do to aid in transitioning from the use of filler words. Talk to and with your audience, do not make a speech. Even if there is 400 in an audience, still have a conversation. Give your words tonal variance. Avoid being monotone. Speak with some emotion and intent. People hear how you speak and the emphasis you place on words. Mean what you say. If you say what you mean and speak emphatically, then the filler words generally fall away.
Great advice, thanks Richard.
Please, please train folks to eliminate “like”. Many listeners, myself included, tune out after the sixth or seventh “like”.
Like, yeah!
‘But’
I can’t get my head around people who use but at the end of a sentence.?!
Can we sort this one word out too, but?
Huh. Haven’t heard that one. “Huh,” by the way, is the most universally understand utterance in all languages.