I often get asked about the nerves, fear, butterflies, and sheer unadulterated terror that, for most people, accompany public speaking to some degree. Following are a few ways to ease that fear and make your public speaking more fun. I’ll start with the best and work my way down to the quick and dirty.
1. Rehearse and practice. By far the best way to get over the fear of public speaking is to do it, over and over again. Both rehearsal and practice help enormously, because you learn that you will live through the experience, that the audience is not going to tar and feather you and make you leave town, and that you do know your stuff. The best way to rehearse? In front of a video camera – not the mirror – assuming you haven’t hired a coach like me. The video camera will show you things that you don’t realize you’re doing and greatly speed up your learning curve.
2. Engage in positive self-talk. The fear comes (for most people) from the mental doom loop that starts up as soon as you get close to giving the talk. You begin to get a little nervous, and your mind notes the symptoms, and says to itself, “Whoops, my heart is racing, my hands are clammy, my knees are wobbly – it’s going to be a disaster!” That, of course, makes your physical symptoms worse, and soon you’re in a fine state. Instead, cut off the doom loop before it begins by chanting to yourself, “I’m going to be fine. I’ve rehearsed (see #1), I know my stuff, and the audience wants me to succeed.” Do this constantly, if necessary, and at least whenever a worry thought creeps into your mind. With practice, you’ll find your negative thoughts virtually disappear.
3. Breathe deeply and slowly. I’ve blogged many times on the importance of breathing, but it is the single most important thing to get right after having good content. We inhabit physical bodies, and they run on fuel – calories and air. Without the calories, you’ll live for at least a week, but without air you’ll die in minutes. So breathe! If you breathe deeply, from the belly, like well-trained singers and yoga instructors, you’ll find that it calms you and grounds you. With practice, it will dissipate your fears whenever you take a deep breath before you speak.
4. Work on your unconscious. The fear of public speaking comes from deep in the unconscious part of your brain. We know a lot more now about how that works. See my new book, Trust Me: Four Steps to Authenticity and Charisma, for the science behind communication and the fear it provokes. In the space I have here, I’ll just say that the way to eliminate that fear may sound a little ‘New-Agey’ but it works. Every night, as you’re falling asleep, chant something to yourself over and over again, like, “I love public speaking and I’m confident when I do it.” If you do this regularly EVERY NIGHT for at least 3 weeks, your fear of speaking will leave you.
5. If all else fails, do what the musicians do: take beta blockers. The other ways are much better for you, but if you lack the discipline or the will power, then get a beta blocker prescription from your doctor. It’s what three quarters of professional musicians do, by one poll. It’s the pharmaceutical way to calm you down. You’ll still have the panicky thoughts, but you won’t care.
Good luck!
Great points. On point 5 – really? 75% of professional musicians. Wow.
I liked the points and I will check out more of your stuff. I have no problem speaking in public. I have the opposite problem – NOT speaking in public (and other places). However, like all people that stage fright is tough to overcome. My best remedy is to use your point #1 as much as possible – practice. And the best way is to use the term Nike (or Phil Knight) coined and Just Do It.
There will be bumbles and gaffes, but those that really want to speak in public will build on these and use them for future speaking opportunities.
Jeff
PS – I am competing in the District wide Toastmasters International “Speaking to Inspire” contest next week. And YES … I am practicing.
Great points. On point 5 – really? 75% of professional musicians. Wow.
I liked the points and I will check out more of your stuff. I have no problem speaking in public. I have the opposite problem – NOT speaking in public (and other places). However, like all people that stage fright is tough to overcome. My best remedy is to use your point #1 as much as possible – practice. And the best way is to use the term Nike (or Phil Knight) coined and Just Do It.
There will be bumbles and gaffes, but those that really want to speak in public will build on these and use them for future speaking opportunities.
Jeff
PS – I am competing in the District wide Toastmasters International “Speaking to Inspire” contest next week. And YES … I am practicing.
Jeff — good luck! There are a lucky few like you who don’t have the fear. And yes, I’ve actually heard the number quoted higher — one article I saw a few years back said that 80 percent of the musicians in symphony orchestras were on beta blockers. It’s one of the little-known dirty secrets of that world.
Jeff — good luck! There are a lucky few like you who don’t have the fear. And yes, I’ve actually heard the number quoted higher — one article I saw a few years back said that 80 percent of the musicians in symphony orchestras were on beta blockers. It’s one of the little-known dirty secrets of that world.
Great points. Although I find 5 a bit disturbing.
While helping my son practice for a tryout we came across the idea of ‘check points.’ He was having trouble racing through (your point 3) so we picked a few places where he would stop, assess – take his deep breath. By effectively scripting in ‘RELAX’ he could catch himself before picking up too much speed.
Great points. Although I find 5 a bit disturbing.
While helping my son practice for a tryout we came across the idea of ‘check points.’ He was having trouble racing through (your point 3) so we picked a few places where he would stop, assess – take his deep breath. By effectively scripting in ‘RELAX’ he could catch himself before picking up too much speed.
Great points, but I don’t really like the fifth one. the first four are actually what I usually try to do, although sometimes they don’t work very well. Anyway, great tips !
Great points, but I don’t really like the fifth one. the first four are actually what I usually try to do, although sometimes they don’t work very well. Anyway, great tips !
As usual your advice provides the top tip… here is one that helped me when I started speaking for fee (and loved getting paid so wanted to overcome the discomfort):
look at your audience when you start, considering them as three equal zones, from left to right, then find a friendly face in each, preferable at differing distances from you. Start by focusing on each other them in a varying pattern.
The 25 or more people around them will think you are warmly addressing them in that moment. And everyone will appreciate your looking out at them/the audience.
Soon many more attendees will look familiar and friendly and you can look at many more people.
A slight pause, BTW of just 2 seconds, on each face will seem like a loooong time to you, yet not to the audience – especially the crowd who thinks you are speaking directly to them.
Even Obama had to learn that as he started his speaking looking left to right (again and again) yet not at people.
As usual your advice provides the top tip… here is one that helped me when I started speaking for fee (and loved getting paid so wanted to overcome the discomfort):
look at your audience when you start, considering them as three equal zones, from left to right, then find a friendly face in each, preferable at differing distances from you. Start by focusing on each other them in a varying pattern.
The 25 or more people around them will think you are warmly addressing them in that moment. And everyone will appreciate your looking out at them/the audience.
Soon many more attendees will look familiar and friendly and you can look at many more people.
A slight pause, BTW of just 2 seconds, on each face will seem like a loooong time to you, yet not to the audience – especially the crowd who thinks you are speaking directly to them.
Even Obama had to learn that as he started his speaking looking left to right (again and again) yet not at people.
I was just out viewing blogs and came across yours.Nice post,I found your blog very useful!I enjoyed reading it.Thanks for the good info!
I was just out viewing blogs and came across yours.Nice post,I found your blog very useful!I enjoyed reading it.Thanks for the good info!
HEllo!!
Thanks for the info, is very very interesting, i loved read this article because i know is very complete!!
HEllo!!
Thanks for the info, is very very interesting, i loved read this article because i know is very complete!!