Let’s look at the elevator speech contest entries as they come in. I’m thrilled by the response – keep the ideas coming! We’ll let the contest run a couple of weeks and then pick 3 winners.
I’m receiving two kinds of elevator speeches – some that follow the rules and are in fact (very) focused versions of possible talks, and some that are elevator pitches, or very brief descriptions of the business you’re in. I’m going to make an executive decision and look at both kinds on their merits.
Here’s the first entry, and it looks like an elevator pitch:
I teach small business owners and entrepeneurs how to keep their pipeline full by doing what your mother taught you not to do, talk to strangers and master the "f" word, follow-up. If you know anyone who wants to be two minutes and two people away from their next referral, customer, or client, have them get a free copy of Rhonda's Rules at www.twominutenetworker.com. I am Rhonda Sher, the two minute networker.
What catches the attention here is all in the second line: “what your mother taught you not to do, talk to strangers and master the ‘f’ word, follow-up.” That’s fun, and memorable. Can it be improved upon?
Well, if that’s the memorable part, let’s get it up front. Let’s also try to simplify the syntax a little and make the message a little easier to digest.
Do what your mother taught you not to: talk to strangers and master the ‘f’ word – follow up – to get your next referral, customer, or client in two minutes. Entrepreneurs, get a free copy of Rhonda’s Rules at www.twominutenetworker.com, from Rhonda Sher, the two-minute networker.
There you go, Rhonda. Thanks for playing, and thanks for the great elevator pitch. Please weigh in, everyone, with your comments and ideas. And vote for the best elevator pitch/speech.
Great improvements! Can I still join in?
I’m Mimi Meredith, I help people learn to lead happier more well balanced lives. Happier individuals are more productive employees and create better communities! Find out more at my website, TheGoodnessGrows.com!
Great improvements! Can I still join in?
I’m Mimi Meredith, I help people learn to lead happier more well balanced lives. Happier individuals are more productive employees and create better communities! Find out more at my website, TheGoodnessGrows.com!
Hi Nick,
Since the medium itself was the Web…I mean the comment section of your blog…I have tried and adapted and posted a e-pitch ,as in electronic not elevator!
So, if half as many people who visit that particular blog of yours actually come to mine … I would consider myself successful.
My quick observations are these:
1. Not all elevator pitches are actually made in the elevator…so it is necessary to adapt to he medium while keeping the core of the pitch intact.
2. Some of the elevator pitches in the comments sections sound like those cheesy 80s ads and make those pitching look like hawkers! My apologies in advance for being blunt !
And I also realize my pitch..though pristine ,potent and dignified to me may sound con-manish to others.
So, how to draw the line between ….sounding enticing and valuable … and the horror of sounding desperate and cheap?
Hi Nick,
Since the medium itself was the Web…I mean the comment section of your blog…I have tried and adapted and posted a e-pitch ,as in electronic not elevator!
So, if half as many people who visit that particular blog of yours actually come to mine … I would consider myself successful.
My quick observations are these:
1. Not all elevator pitches are actually made in the elevator…so it is necessary to adapt to he medium while keeping the core of the pitch intact.
2. Some of the elevator pitches in the comments sections sound like those cheesy 80s ads and make those pitching look like hawkers! My apologies in advance for being blunt !
And I also realize my pitch..though pristine ,potent and dignified to me may sound con-manish to others.
So, how to draw the line between ….sounding enticing and valuable … and the horror of sounding desperate and cheap?
Better the devil you know may keep you safe but will it make you richer? Talk to me and I’ll show you how to make more money and pay less tax.
Better the devil you know may keep you safe but will it make you richer? Talk to me and I’ll show you how to make more money and pay less tax.
I help people in business make lasting impressions. Then they attract more clients.
I help people in business make lasting impressions. Then they attract more clients.