I received a number of great comments and emails on my first blog on ‘the pause’ so I’m following up with another one, with a little more information on this essential part of public speaking. 

You can always tell an inexperienced teacher or speaker by the way they respond after they ask the audience a question, or for some kind of feedback.  They will wait a heartbeat, and then answer the question or add a comment themselves. 

That’s fatal, because it sends out a message to the audience that the speaker (or teacher) will ask questions, and then answer them.  So the audience can simply sit there passively, doing nothing, and check out, intellectually speaking. 

Instead, you (the speaker) must pause.  There was a study done of how long it takes people to fill that awful silence; the average is 6 seconds.  So count it out if you have to, but wait!  As I said in the first blog, it will feel like forever, but that’s because you’re in adrenaline time.  The audience is merely registering that you’ve asked a question, thinking whether or not it knows the answer, deciding whether or not it wants to hazard a response, and starting to work up the nerve to respond.  That all takes time. 

I guarantee you that, if you ask the audience something, and then wait expectantly, by the time 6 seconds is up, someone will take pity on you and respond. 

A former colleague of mine had a great phrase for another use of the pause.  He always said, “Watch it land,” meaning your point.  When you’re saying something wonderful, look into the audience’s eyes and see it land.  See, in other words, how it comes across.  Do they get it?  Do they think it’s profound?  Are they moved?  Laughing?  Struck dumb with wonder?  And so on. 

For really profound points, you may want to solicit feedback after pausing to let the point land. 

Wait for a 3-second count, and then ask, “What do you think?”  or, “Who has an experience relating to (this point) that you’d like to share?”  or, “Let me get some feedback here.  Is this making sense to you?”  and so on. 

A third place to pause is after an audience member asks a question.  Wait until you’re sure that the questioner is done, pause for a 3-count, and then answer. 

This pause accomplishes several good things.  First, it ensures that you’ve heard the questioner fully – an important courtesy.  Second, it allows you to formulate a better response than if you just leap into the answer without sufficient thought.  And last, it allows the rest of the audience to decide whether or not they’re on the side of the questioner.  This last point comes in handy when you get a heckling question, for example.  A pause allows you to work up a better response, and also allows the audience to decide that the questioner is a jerk. 

Practice your pauses.  They are the sign of a good speaker, like a good jazz player, who understands that it’s the spaces in between the notes where the real mastery lies.