I’ve just pored over the Fred Thompson announcement speech in Des Moines. I wanted to like the guy, for some reason – probably because he looks like a friendly grandfather, and he’s got that celebrity status.

But, come on. The speech is terrible, on so many levels. First, it’s folksy to excess. It sounds like it was written for Jimmy Stewart on his way to Washington – except Fred doesn’t seem to have much compassion for the little guy anywhere in his speech, like Jimmy always did.

The world is a tough place, these days, and we don’t need ‘just folks’ running our government. We need really smart, really honest, really principled people willing to come in early, stay late, and work hard while they’re there. Drop the dumb rhetoric, Fred, and show us who you really are.

Second, it’s based on the same simple-minded conservative rant that George Bush ran on in 2000, and then jettisoned as soon as he got into office. Why should anyone believe it this time? (That’s assuming you agree with the rant, of course, and you really can’t, not if you have a brain.)

Third, it’s organized around what Fred calls ‘principles’ but which turn out to be ‘political hot buttons of the day’. One moment he’s talking about the sanctity of life, and the next moment he’s talking about putting Iraq in our rearview mirror and taking on the ‘worldwide conflict’. So, let me get this straight, Fred – your sanctity of life is selective, and depends on where you’re born, or grow up, or your religion, that kind of thing? Hmmmm. Attractive.

Fred wants a strong, competent, but limited government – something like a bantam-weight fighter, I suppose. Is that the limited government that dealt so well with Katrina? I’m sorry, Fred, but your hot button principles are outdated. We have 300 million people in this country, and we need a heck of a lot of government to protect us from those crazies out there – and from ourselves.

OK, Sure, we need a competent government. Everyone knows that. Every politician in America at some point raises his or her fist to the sky and says, “we need to stick it to those bums in Washington,” forgetting for the moment that he or she is one of those bums — or on their payroll. Everyone except perhaps Senator Clinton.

I wanted to like Fred. But his speech is not ready for prime time, yet. He needs to sharpen up his act. We’ve got complicated problems to deal with – we don’t need the same tired old conservative slogans. They’re the ones that got us into this mess.