In this blog post I’m delighted to talk to teammate Jessica Cooper, who helps both speakers and singers develop strong, confident, compelling voices. 

“Actually, it’s like, really, you know. . . .” Are you a user of filler words?  Almost everyone – except the heaviest users of them – agree that they are annoying. But why do we use them if we all agree they should be eliminated?  And what should we actually do about them?

First, let’s make a few distinctions.  It may surprise you to learn that the research shows that when you say, “ah” or “uh” or “um” as a way of filling the space while you think of what to say next, you increase your audience’s comprehension of what’s coming.  They listen more attentively because they think that if you’ve put some effort into choosing the right word or phrase, then it’s probably worth paying attention.

Filler words, on the other hand, such as well, like, you know, actually, really, and kind of – these words have been around since the Middle Ages, and their purpose is to soften what comes next, to make it less precise.  So, when your teenager says, “It was, like, midnight when I got home,” she is saying “it wasn’t exactly midnight, I’m not saying that.  It was near or roughly midnight.  It might have been 12:15. Or even a little later.”

It’s simultaneously true that your teenager is irritating in these moments AND her linguistic equivocations are filling a real purpose.  She’s negotiating with you to reduce her punishment for coming in late.

Moreover, it’s all a question of, you know, degree.  If a speaker uses a “like” or a “kinda” rarely, then we won’t notice – or if we do, we will probably forgive them.  It’s when the ‘likes’ and ‘you knows’ pepper every sentence that we start to tear our hair out as listeners.

Thus, because speakers mostly want to be precise, compelling, and vivid communicators, they should seek to avoid most filler words most of the time.  And attempt to use the “ah, um, uh” minimally so that they retain their purpose of stressing the word that comes next rather than merely being annoying.

If you’re on board with the program of reducing filler words and grunts, then, let’s dive into how to do that.  To help, I’m bringing in Public Words’ vocal expert Jessica Cooper.  Jessica is a professional singer, voice coach, and impresario.

Nick:  Thanks, Jessica, for helping us out with this perennial problem.  Let’s jump in.  Why do we speakers have such a hard time letting go of these filler words and sounds?

Jessica:  It’s a result of not practicing a very important approach to a presentation – and that is “think, breathe, speak.” By developing a good embodied speaking technique along these lines, speakers can rid themselves of those sneaky filler words.  I encourage speakers to practice a technique that embodies both words and vocalism. Through a conscious, rehearsed approach to spoken words, you can learn to hear (audiate) the words before you say them. Those pesky filler words just don’t fit into the equation of “think, breathe, speak!”

Nick:  OK, you’ve got my attention.  Please explain!

Jessica:   In rehearsal, you can hone the language so that it flows more naturally – as if you were just talking – except you know what is coming. As humans, the 3 things we all do naturally, without thinking, are that we: 1 -think of/ conceive what it is we want to say, 2- we breathe in the air for both the length of the message as well as the energy (tone) for the associated emotion, and 3- we speak the words with the pitch and cadence to enhance our intent. Let me expound further – when we think of what we are about to say, we have an idea of what we want to get across, so we take a big or small breath accordingly. If you are going to be loud or soft, you take a breath according to the tonal quality or dynamic (loud or soft) you will use. Vocally speaking, this is an important pattern to codify as a rehearsal tool, because it will shape your delivery. It’s the same in singing – there is phrasing, meaning and tone in the words that are being performed.

Nick: Excellent.  So, it’s in rehearsal of your speech that you can prepare to deliver the message in a compelling way, one where the tone matches the meaning of what you’re trying to say.

Jessica:  And the opposite is true too:  when audiences hear those pesky filler words, they will likely think that you are nervous, or may not have as great a grasp on your subject. In fact what’s happening is that you didn’t have the words in your head completely before taking the breath – so the filler words came as your brain was catching up. The “think, breathe, speak” triage is for me of utmost importance when you want to deliver a compelling, crisp, confident message.  You don’t want to sound like a hesitant teenager!

Nick:  Do you have any other thoughts to add?

Jessica: Yes! When we get nervous,  the mouth goes dry, and we lose breath.  We can expect that to happen and plan for it.  There are breathing techniques and ways of mitigating “dry mouth” that can be rehearsed and planned for.  The most essential point here is that it is really about rehearsing with intention and with an embodied approach.

Nick:  Thanks, Jessica!  We’re excited to have you as part of the team.  Those who decide to receive vocal coaching for their public speaking will get to work on breath exercises, tone exercises, and how to apply them to spoken words – the whole journey to achieving a confident, compelling speaking presence.